Ep 19: Stop blocking your dream work

Welcome to Episode 19 “Stop Blocking Your Dream Work.” If you’ve been feeling trapped in your work, this episode will help set you on a path towards work you’re not just content with, but work you’re absolutely in love with. 

This is for you if you’re an introvert, a sensitive soul, or someone who just doesn’t quite fit the mold.  

We’ll cover:

  • Identity, how it blocks you & how it can empower you
  • The role of your nervous system & “being sensitive”
  • Recognizing rightness through desire & intuition
  • How you make your decisions
  • Empowerment
  • Practices to unblock yourself

Excerpts from the Episode

“Use your identity not to limit you, but to empower you. Your uniqueness is where your genius lies.”

“Your dream work is MEANT for you… the path to bring it into being is your life’s journey.”

“Each decision you make today shapes the life you’ll have tomorrow.”


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Hello, my beautiful introvert friend. Welcome to episode number 19. Stop blocking your dream work. I am really excited about this. So get ready. It's going to be a really powerful episode, especially if you are feeling stuck in your work, this is going to help you get out of it and not just. Out of work into another job into work that you love. So if you're an introvert and an eye or a sensitive person or someone did that really kind of connects with my message here. Might be a little unconventional, not fit into the traditional way of socializing or doing work. So often. When we find a label for ourselves, like being an introvert, we can end up using it as an excuse to play small, to not show up for bigger things, to not go after what we desire, because it involves being an activities that might not be ideal or that we feel uncomfortable in. But I want to offer that identity at its best. Empowers you. Rather than limits you. So, if you are unhappy with your work and your identity as an introvert or whatever it is, is coming into play, then it might be affecting what you think that you're capable of, of what, where you think that you can fit in, whether you'll be good at sales and marketing or relationships with people or whatever it is that your dream is. But I want to offer that if you have a dream, if you have that desire. Then that is meant for you. And that you are capable of doing what it takes to have that dream. And just, maybe you might find a way of doing it, that is totally unique to you. When we are different from the norm, that is an amazing permission slip for us to continue to do it differently for us to do. It differently because the way that someone else has created success, maybe if your dream of having your own writing business, and you've seen someone else who's done it, who is just a, you know, a raging extrovert and you look at them and you're like, that's not me. So. I won't be successful doing that. I'm going to unpack that a bit. But I want to offer that. That's okay. That them doing it their way. Is. Actually permission for you to do it your way. So. In today's episode, we're going to talk about identity just briefly. Break it down. And look at how it can block you. In practice. And then we're going to talk about the nervous system just briefly, because that is a really big part of being an introvert of being sensitive or very tuned into our nervous systems. And we, I want to help you instead of using that. So often that can be part of our identity that kind of keeps us playing small. I want to offer you different way to look at it. That actually helps you. Two. Play bigger. We're going to look at how you know, what is right for you. And where empowerment comes from. And then give you some practices that you can do at home to help you unblock yourself. In your work and move towards creating the dream that you want in your work and your life.

Yeti Stereo Microphone & FaceTime HD Camera (Built-in)-1:

Okay. All right, so let's begin here. And I'll say that this is part of season two of the empowered introvert, where we are looking at the introvert at work. So this is going to be a key, key piece of the conversation. And we start with identity, the idea of identity, like what is identity and where does it come from? So as an introvert. As a human being. We either we. Receive messages of identity from the people around us. Especially when we're young, we are trying to understand our place in the world. So. We might hear our parents describe us as being quiet or our, our teachers might. Say that. That we know we're reserved. We don't talk much. We keep to ourselves. And once your brain kind of notices that people are saying things like this, then you'll notice when they say it in other places, you'll be like, oh yeah. Well, my, my parents said that my teacher said that. And, you know, other people have said that. So that's how I am. That is who I am. And at some point we get curious and we start going after information ourselves because we never receive a complete explanation of who we are from the people around us. They have, you know, they don't have the same lived experience. They don't really know what it's like to be us. So we become curious and we take some personality tests. We do a human design test. And we get information, right. And we, I denify with it. We connect with it because we can see ourselves mirrored in it. And it amplifies what we know about ourselves. So it helps you to create a framework to understand yourself. So that you, it feels better when you understand yourself. All right. Which that is all wonderful. However, no outside system is ever going to completely explain who you are in your beautiful human complexity. And our society has certain ways of viewing introverts. And, you know, unconventional people that, then what happens is we end up taking that for ourselves. We end up. Making that perspective, our own, including the limitations with that. So what happens here is that instead of empowering you. Information about identity. Identifying with being an introvert can lead to you, behaving in ways that actually. Keep you maintaining that identity, that limited identity. For example. Say you, you know, you are a more. You're a more quiet person. You tend to be more quiet. Same for myself. Okay. This is easy. So I tend to be quite quiet and reserved, except in certain circumstances, like often here on the podcast. Or if I'm talking about certain subjects or with certain people. And people will comment. Like, oh, I didn't realize that you're an introvert. Right because they know me only from that particular situation. And so actually in that situation, I'm being an extrovert. But if I was to take. That I am quiet. And so that means I can't. Do a podcast, or that means that I can't. Present as a speaker. Then I am. Limiting myself. That I can't go to a networking event because it's hard for me to speak in groups. And so I don't go to networking events. I end up limiting my experience. And the, and the key here is like, yes. Knowing yourself, knowing who you are and making decisions so that you're putting yourself in the right place more. Like that is empowerment. But when you. Quote unquote know who you are and say, I'm a quiet person. And so I can't do something. Then you are limiting yourself. And more empowered. Approach to this would be. With the example of networking. Yes, this is hard. It's hard for me to handle groups. What can I do? To help myself through this. What can I do to honor who I am in this situation so that I can get the benefit for myself and for others? Right. Of the experience of networking. In a way that works for me. Can you see the difference? They're profoundly different. One is that you can't. And you use your identity as being quiet as an excuse to not do it. And the other is empowerment where you understand yourself and you. Find ways to help yourself through a talenting situation. And then from there expanding on that as like, oh, like based on who I am, what is my genius? How can I build more of that? How can I build my work more on that? How can I. Advocate for myself. If, if you're in an employment situation or if you're self-employed like, how can I build. Habits and PA and systems into my business that helped me show up the most grounded and powerfully that I can. I can't. And this is particularly important when it comes to your nervous system. Now I have an episode. That's all about the introvert nervous system. Episode three, understanding the introvert stress response, where I go into a lot more detail about why you might feel more sensitive, why you might feel more anxious. And so I'm not going to go into the nitty gritty there. But just, just briefly. That you know, as sensitive people, as introverts, we tend to have, be more reactive to stimulation to to, to people to be more sensitive to people's emotions. And so then what often happens and I see this all of the time, especially, and in groups and coaching groups and Facebook groups where people will say things like, well, you know, I get stressed out and just want to, like, I shut down when X, Y, Z happens. You know, when I go to a networking event or someone has some. Critical feedback for me. And I shut down. So that's just the way. I operate. Right. Do. They like put a period and like, this is who I am. They plant their flag. And then once that flag is planted, then they live their life around that flag. Around that limitation. It becomes a reason to avoid. Things that are uncomfortable. But discomfort. Is where growth lies, right. Comfort. Of course, that feels great. We need to be comfortable sometimes and we need to feel like our needs are met. And we have a desire for that. You know, we're we are animals. But if that. Is all that we allow ourselves. And, you know, if that's you, you're probably not listening to this, this episode. But, you know, it's okay to have moments, especially when you've gone through some traumatic event where you just keep yourself comfortable. But when you have dreams, when you have. Desire in you for something more for something greater. And maybe it's clear to you what that is. You want to be a writer, you want to have your own business. You want to be a speaker, you know, whatever it is when you have that desire, that is your destiny. However to get to that place. Requires a discomfort. And your nervous system will feel a little uncomfortable. And it will trigger your habitual response. You will, might want to, to flee, right? You might want to. You might find yourself freezing. You might find yourself engaging in the fond in people pleasing in just trying to make other people happy so that you don't have to focus on yourself. And those activities that are bringing discomfort. So as an introvert, it's very important to become well-versed in your nervous system. And like when you need to simply ground and calm down. And how to increase your capacity. To move beyond that into discomfort. Into taking action towards your dreams towards what you desire. Now. There is a lot of strategy and like steps and to do lists that you can create to create the work that you desire. But I want to offer that much like identity. The steps to create the actions to. Take to bring your, what you desire into being. R. Need to come from you. They need to come from you identifying the rightness. Of those actions. And this requires a very What's the word here. Very loving and respectful and curious. That's it. Relationship? With yourself. And. This can be a little bit subtle. It's it's like the word intuition often comes up through. Here. Of, instead of looking to. Outside processes and gosh, my words are having a hard time today values and like, like this is what it means to be successful. Or. To identity. Of the past of who you have been to decide what you can do and what you can't do. It's rather turning inward listening. To what is right for you. And sometimes there's a clear path that you see, you know, you just know that you need to go to school and do this thing. Sometimes you don't sometimes it's just, you need to move one step. At a time and trust. But that is the key learning to trust your deep instinct, your deep desire. Coming from a place not of fear and scarcity. But have you exploring your, like the possibility of who you are? You exploring a bigger identity. Of expanding into that bigger identity. And I'll give you an exercise here shortly to help you do that. So if you're feeling stuck right now in work, Look at how you're making your decisions. You know, are you making a decision from a place of fear or scarcity? Like I need to stay here because I get health insurance. This is a huge one. Or I, you know, I need to stay here cause I don't know what else I would do. Or I'm just so stressed and overwhelmed that I I'm. I can't move. Right. I can barely get through the day, let alone. Imagine myself doing some grand thing. You know, in all of these cases, you are making a decision. You are actively making a decision to continue to do things the way that they have been to continue to be in the place that you don't like. And there will be all kinds of reasons. Reasons why you can't change. But. Trying to figure those out is part of what's keeping you stuck. So instead look at. How you're making decisions? Like what is the feeling that is driving it? It is. Is it fear and scarcity or is it curiosity? Intuition interest expansion. Motivation. And you can use that. In small ways in your day. Do what you feel like, what feels when you say yes to it? It's coming from a place of. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. I want to go out to lunch with this person. Yes. I want to not check my email until four o'clock. Right. When you start making the smallest decisions from that place? When yes. I want to go pick up my kids after school. I love seeing them. Right. I'm tired, but I still love seeing them. Right when you can. Tune into. Making decisions from love. And trust. In the smallest ways you're going to be building your muscle to make the bigger decisions. So just really notice what you are saying yes. To in your day. Everything that you have right now is what you're saying. Yes. To. Even if you don't know how to say no to it yet, you're still saying yes to it. Okay. So part of the reason that we say yes to things that we don't want is because of the comfort it is in our comfort zone. It's easier to say yes to something that makes us uncomfortable than it is to something that we don't know is like what the result is going to be or to how we're going to feel. Right. It's easier to say yes to going to that same tired old job week after week than it is to start our own business. Yeah. It requires less energy to starting your own business, doing new things. Anything that your brain doesn't have down to a habit is going to require some energy. But you know what, when you are approaching it from that place of curiosity and excitement, That creates energy for you. So. Yeah, that's a little shortcut. But. What we're talking about here. Is being willing to go into the unknown. And this is where empowerment comes from. This is what will help you. To nourish an identity of empowerment, of being a person that is willing to go into the unknown, that trusts that are their decision-making. That tunes into curiosity and love and motivation and takes action from there. Because it's the actions that you take on a daily basis that create the life that you have. So the work that you want, the work that is waiting for you, the most aligned work with you, being your most authentic self. Of it feeling easeful and expansive and impactful. It is there waiting for you to take the actions to get there? But to take those actions, you have to change your identity. You have to stop seeing yourself as someone who can't. And start seeing yourself as someone who can, who can find a way to do it your way. That is. I know, you know, it can be scary to be unconventional, but it is so creative and beautiful and you are not alone. So many of us are doing it now. Like we are in a moment where. We have access to so many ideas and tools and. And support that can empower us to actually take the steps to change. Change your identity, change your actions. Change your work, change your life. This is what I do as a coach, right? This is my job. It is to help you make this change, make this transition. And it's amazing. So here are some practical things that you can do to support you, to get unblocked with your work. And move towards your dream work. Well, the first thing. I mean, I always, I like, I, I, all of my coaching sessions, my workshops. Start with grounding yourself. This is so important. And so often it's like, I mean, it's crazy. My calls. It's like we start off and I see the person, like we joined the zoom room and they like, they're not like outwardly exhibiting, like frazzle and overwhelmed. But after we do just a few minutes of meditation. Like, they're like, oh my gosh. Like I've totally shifted. Like, I feel so much better. And when you shift, when you ground yourself, when you calm your nervous system. You help yourself move from scarcity, from fear, from make and making decisions from that place. Into your power into your natural power that is already there. And this is such an easy practice. So ground yourself, maybe that's taking 10 deep breaths. Maybe you have some other practice. I have a million of them. You're welcome to ask me. I've got Some bonus episodes for meditation. Just find something super easy to do. To help you bring it down a notch. That right there is so empowering. Then from there. Take a moment to. Bring yourself into possibility. So just allow your current identity. And constraints to feed into the background. And entertain the possibility that it is possible for me to, to have my dream work. It is possible for me to find a way through this shitty job into something that I love. Right. Whatever works for you. Find some nourishing phrases. You're giving yourself fertilizer. Like really let yourself receive it. And then the third practice that you can do. Is. Refine your identity. Take a moment from this grounded nourished place to imagine what it is that you want to create. Maybe you have details, you know, that I want to have my own online business. I work 20 hours a week. I spend, you know, the rest of the time with my kids and making art or whatever it is. No, make it juicy. And write that down and write. What. That version of you thinks about you. It's like, it's easy to make money online. I love my work. This work. Is sometimes hard and I love it. Right. Write down five to 10 sentences. And then. Maybe on the other side of the paper, on a paper right next to that one, write down and really write it down with your hands. And a pen. Write down what you believe today. Notice how today you might think. There's no way that I can find time to create a business online. There's no way I can make enough money. Other people do it, but there's no way I can do it. Whatever you notice, just write it down. Zero judgment. And then look at, look at where you are on now. And where you're growing into. And in that moment, see if you can start to believe already today. What that future version of you believes about themselves? This is recreating your identity. And from here. As you recreate your identity like this, this tool do this, you know, every day. I've got other tools. This is self coaching. You want to get your mindset more aligned with this future self. Lovingly let all of the other limiting stuff, like kind of fade into the background. And then take action from that more expansive version of yourself, make decisions from that more expensive version, you will choose different things. Your actions will be different and you will create different results. Do this time and time again, and you will create a different life. All right. That's what I have for you today. Let me know your thoughts. I love this topic. Let me know how it is resonating in your life. Life. If you want help. This is what I do. Schedule a time to talk with me. We can talk about coaching, how I can help you create your dream work. The link for a T date is in the show notes. Thanks so much for joining friends and I'll see you next time.